I wish I could have you back -
as a friend, 
this time, 
without the complication of love.

But for now
all I can be is sorry,
so ferociously and deeply sorry
that I only feel this now -
that it has taken me this long to recognise 
that I shouldn’t have given you up -
Cast you off like an afterthought. 
There was no other option.

I promise that I miss you, 
and that I did not take your loss lightly.
I promise that if I were to have you back, 
it would bring back pressures of love that I did not want, 
so for that I am not sorry. 

But that time -
That glorious time that we did have -
is now frozen.
And I have to live with that memory
now stagnant, 
never to be revived.
You exist only as this figure who once brought me to life.

But you did -
oh, how you did -
bring me back to life, 
so kindly
effortlessly
lovingly;
like a wave washing over my body.

It was a privilege talking to you;
it felt so effortless
like my tongue was the tide
and you were the sand.

Now,
I have to try my words out, 
like a child laying out their shells in the sunset.