I wish I could tell you that I feel all of this every day,  
not just when it is raining outside
and I am looking for something to feel,
But in every conversation,
and every time someone makes a joke and there is nothing left to do but laugh.

I wish I could tell you that I miss it fiercely,  
profusely, 
unapologetically, this time, 
plain like the imprint of a shell on the hard sand by the water.

But
remembering this,
remembering you.
Is pointless.

These were luxuries,
these feelings you gave me,
I wish for the chance to have it again,
Or to have met you now, 
Perhaps,
Now I know more of the world.

Instead, 
I remember these luxuries that you gave to me -
these fine, 
beautiful ornaments 
that were once mine -
I hold them tight in my grip
before laying them out 
to be taken by the tide.